Ticket #4859: Still Open All Hours.ttml

File Still Open All Hours.ttml, 46.2 KB (added by AlexisMay, 9 years ago)
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3 <head>
4 <metadata>
5 <ttm:title>
6 STILL OPEN ALL HOURS - BRD000000
7 </ttm:title>
8 <ttm:copyright>
9 Enicsson 2017
10 </ttm:copyright>
11 </metadata>
12 <styling>
13 <style id="s2" style="s0" tts:color="cyan" />
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19 <body tts:textAlign="center" style="s0">
20 <div>
21 <p begin="00:00:31.04" id="p0" end="00:00:33.20">Visit Santa's grotto!</p>
22 <p begin="00:00:33.20" id="p1" end="00:00:35.32">SHE SCREAMS</p>
23 <p begin="00:00:37.20" id="p2" end="00:00:39.24">HE LAUGHS</p>
24 <p style="s1" begin="00:00:50.40" id="p3" end="00:00:52.52"><span tts:color="white">You look a right muffin, you. </span>Ssh!</p>
25 <p style="s1" begin="00:00:52.52" id="p4" end="00:00:55.92">Don't talk to me.<br />I'm a stranger round here.</p>
26 <p begin="00:00:55.92" id="p5" end="00:00:58.72">Are you hiding from her<br />boyfriend again?</p>
27 <p style="s1" begin="00:00:58.72" id="p6" end="00:01:01.56">I've told her she should go back to<br />him cos when you get to know him</p>
28 <p style="s1" begin="00:01:01.56" id="p7" end="00:01:04.28">he's really very...big.</p>
29 <p begin="00:01:04.28" id="p8" end="00:01:06.00">Here you are.</p>
30 <p begin="00:01:07.32" id="p9" end="00:01:13.04">Oh, look, there's the Black Widow<br />with that poor fly.</p>
31 <p style="s2" begin="00:01:13.04" id="p10" end="00:01:15.68">Smile, Mr Newbold.</p>
32 <p style="s2" begin="00:01:15.68" id="p11" end="00:01:18.00">No, that's not good. Put it away!</p>
33 <p style="s2" begin="00:01:18.00" id="p12" end="00:01:20.72">Looks as if it's on the wrong face.</p>
34 <p style="s1" begin="00:01:22.76" id="p13" end="00:01:25.52">It's you she fancies.<br />He's just for practice.</p>
35 <p begin="00:01:28.84" id="p14" end="00:01:32.48">Oh, good day to you, Mrs Bridges.</p>
36 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:32.48" id="p15" end="00:01:35.64">You said that yesterday<br />and it wasn't.</p>
37 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:35.64" id="p16" end="00:01:38.92">Oh, is there a man anywhere<br />you can rely on?</p>
38 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:38.92" id="p17" end="00:01:43.40">You give them your best years,<br />smarten up your underwear,</p>
39 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:43.40" id="p18" end="00:01:45.96">totter about in crippling heels</p>
40 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:45.96" id="p19" end="00:01:50.00">and still they leave you<br />empty, broken.</p>
41 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:50.00" id="p20" end="00:01:53.56">Is that it? Is that life?</p>
42 <p style="s3" begin="00:01:53.56" id="p21" end="00:01:56.68">Is that all there is?</p>
43 <p begin="00:01:56.68" id="p22" end="00:01:59.72">I've got some nice fresh kidneys.</p>
44 <p begin="00:02:46.20" id="p23" end="00:02:48.52">Ole!</p>
45 <p begin="00:02:49.60" id="p24" end="00:02:52.20">It's getting more like<br />a bullfight with this till.</p>
46 <p begin="00:02:52.20" id="p25" end="00:02:53.56">Did you see that?</p>
47 <p style="s1" begin="00:02:53.56" id="p26" end="00:02:56.36">This time in the morning you<br />think people can see?</p>
48 <p begin="00:02:57.88" id="p27" end="00:03:01.52">I think it's Arkwright<br />having a laugh.</p>
49 <p begin="00:03:01.52" id="p28" end="00:03:05.92">He's deadly when he's playful.<br />You ask Nurse Gladys Emmanuel.</p>
50 <p begin="00:03:08.16" id="p29" end="00:03:10.48">Oh, good morning, Gastric.</p>
51 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:10.48" id="p30" end="00:03:13.20">Morning. Right, I want...</p>
52 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:14.76" id="p31" end="00:03:17.40">Why's he dressed like a pillock?</p>
53 <p style="s1" begin="00:03:20.80" id="p32" end="00:03:23.88">It's not me. I'm out.</p>
54 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:23.88" id="p33" end="00:03:26.56"><span tts:color="white">Anyway, you owe me 10p<br />from yesterday. </span>How come?</p>
55 <p begin="00:03:26.56" id="p34" end="00:03:30.76">Well, actually it's 11p, but I'm<br />giving you favoured customer rates.</p>
56 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:30.76" id="p35" end="00:03:32.52">It's about time!</p>
57 <p begin="00:03:32.52" id="p36" end="00:03:35.56">Well, don't tell anybody else<br />cos they'll all want it.</p>
58 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:35.56" id="p37" end="00:03:39.28">I've forgotten it already,<br />along with what I came in for.</p>
59 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:40.32" id="p38" end="00:03:42.12">I'll have to come back.</p>
60 <p begin="00:03:42.12" id="p39" end="00:03:44.04">Eh? No!</p>
61 <p begin="00:03:44.04" id="p40" end="00:03:47.36">Heck, now look what you've done.<br />You've lost us a customer!</p>
62 <p begin="00:03:47.36" id="p41" end="00:03:50.96"><span tts:color="yellow">He said he'll be back. </span>Yes, I know,<br />but they lie, don't they?</p>
63 <p style="s2" begin="00:03:50.96" id="p42" end="00:03:53.64">Right, I want two pound of bacon.</p>
64 <p begin="00:03:53.64" id="p43" end="00:03:57.08">Two pound of bacon.<br /><span tts:color="cyan">A dozen eggs. </span>A dozen eggs.</p>
65 <p begin="00:03:57.08" id="p44" end="00:03:59.28"><span tts:color="cyan">A large tin of beans.<br /></span>Large tin of be...</p>
66 <p begin="00:03:59.28" id="p45" end="00:04:02.32">You know, Gastric, I'm glad you got<br />your appetite back.</p>
67 <p begin="00:04:02.32" id="p46" end="00:04:06.48">I mean, Gastric and diet were two<br />words that don't really go together.</p>
68 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:06.48" id="p47" end="00:04:09.68">It's not just for me. I've got<br />Cliff Bridges staying with me.</p>
69 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:09.68" id="p48" end="00:04:13.12">Elsie's husband. Mrs Bridges.</p>
70 <p begin="00:04:13.12" id="p49" end="00:04:15.44">Oh, yes! I thought he'd left her?</p>
71 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:15.44" id="p50" end="00:04:19.08">Oh, he's left her three times<br />altogether but now he's come back</p>
72 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:19.08" id="p51" end="00:04:20.68">just in time for Christmas.</p>
73 <p begin="00:04:20.68" id="p52" end="00:04:22.80">So he's brought himself back,<br />has he?</p>
74 <p begin="00:04:22.80" id="p53" end="00:04:25.36">Well, it saves him buying<br />a Christmas present, I suppose,</p>
75 <p begin="00:04:25.36" id="p54" end="00:04:27.04">doesn't it?</p>
76 <p style="s1" begin="00:04:27.04" id="p55" end="00:04:30.32">He must pack some romantic punch<br />if he gets away with that.</p>
77 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:30.32" id="p56" end="00:04:34.28">Oh, not this time. She won't let him<br />in. She's thrown him back out.</p>
78 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:34.28" id="p57" end="00:04:38.08">I've taken him in<br />temporarily for a while.</p>
79 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:38.08" id="p58" end="00:04:41.80">I thought I might pick up a few<br />pointers about how to handle Madge.</p>
80 <p begin="00:04:43.48" id="p59" end="00:04:46.24">Oh, Mrs Bridges, eh? Poor lass.</p>
81 <p begin="00:04:46.24" id="p60" end="00:04:48.92">I thought she looked<br />a bit emotional yesterday.</p>
82 <p style="s1" begin="00:04:48.92" id="p61" end="00:04:52.00">She's always emotional.<br />She cries when anything dies.</p>
83 <p style="s2" begin="00:04:52.00" id="p62" end="00:04:54.20">Well, there's no harm in that.</p>
84 <p style="s1" begin="00:04:54.20" id="p63" end="00:04:56.36">Her battery?!</p>
85 <p begin="00:04:59.92" id="p64" end="00:05:02.52">He comes home for Christmas<br />and she won't even let him in.</p>
86 <p begin="00:05:02.52" id="p65" end="00:05:04.92">How Christmassy is that?</p>
87 <p begin="00:05:04.92" id="p66" end="00:05:07.92">Women!<br />Where do they learn this behaviour?</p>
88 <p begin="00:05:07.92" id="p67" end="00:05:10.40">Are they born nasty?</p>
89 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:10.40" id="p68" end="00:05:12.52">Elsie's not nasty...</p>
90 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:12.52" id="p69" end="00:05:14.96">compared to some I could mention.</p>
91 <p begin="00:05:14.96" id="p70" end="00:05:17.20">It's hardly Good King Wenceslas.</p>
92 <p begin="00:05:17.20" id="p71" end="00:05:21.12">A poor man comes inside<br />and all she gives him is grief.</p>
93 <p begin="00:05:21.12" id="p72" end="00:05:23.28">Then she shoves him<br />straight back out</p>
94 <p begin="00:05:23.28" id="p73" end="00:05:25.68">into the deep and crisp and even.</p>
95 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:25.68" id="p74" end="00:05:29.44">He's left her more than once<br />and always for some other woman.</p>
96 <p begin="00:05:29.44" id="p75" end="00:05:31.36">Well, there you go.</p>
97 <p begin="00:05:31.36" id="p76" end="00:05:34.48">It's not as if he didn't have<br />a good reason.</p>
98 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:34.48" id="p77" end="00:05:36.88">She's taken him back twice.</p>
99 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:36.88" id="p78" end="00:05:39.60">I don't think mine would show<br />that kind of consideration.</p>
100 <p begin="00:05:39.60" id="p79" end="00:05:42.28">What's he like, this Bridges fella?</p>
101 <p begin="00:05:42.28" id="p80" end="00:05:44.96">Are we talking good looking,<br />athletic?</p>
102 <p begin="00:05:44.96" id="p81" end="00:05:47.68">Unfair competition?</p>
103 <p style="s1" begin="00:05:47.68" id="p82" end="00:05:51.00">Obviously he has some pull<br />with the ladies.</p>
104 <p begin="00:05:51.00" id="p83" end="00:05:53.16">I don't like him already.</p>
105 <p begin="00:05:58.64" id="p84" end="00:06:04.24">Oh, get a grip, Elsie. Have<br />a good sing. Take your mind off him.</p>
106 <p begin="00:06:04.24" id="p85" end="00:06:08.16">Forget him.<br />Repeat after me - "Cliff who?"</p>
107 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:08.16" id="p86" end="00:06:12.28">Was he born at the seaside?<br />Why did they call him after a cliff?</p>
108 <p style="s1" begin="00:06:12.28" id="p87" end="00:06:14.80">His name's Clifford!</p>
109 <p style="s1" begin="00:06:14.80" id="p88" end="00:06:17.76">It bears no relation to the seaside.</p>
110 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:17.76" id="p89" end="00:06:21.80">Cliff to me is something you have<br />to be careful not to fall off.</p>
111 <p style="s1" begin="00:06:21.80" id="p90" end="00:06:24.12">I think Elsie found that.</p>
112 <p style="s1" begin="00:06:25.88" id="p91" end="00:06:28.08">Did he just appear at your doorway?</p>
113 <p style="s3" begin="00:06:28.08" id="p92" end="00:06:31.12">With a suitcase and his washing.</p>
114 <p begin="00:06:31.12" id="p93" end="00:06:34.08">Three years of washing?!</p>
115 <p style="s3" begin="00:06:34.08" id="p94" end="00:06:38.56">No, I think she must have<br />done her bit,</p>
116 <p style="s3" begin="00:06:38.56" id="p95" end="00:06:42.04">although I don't believe<br />that was the attraction.</p>
117 <p begin="00:06:42.04" id="p96" end="00:06:45.64"><span tts:color="yellow">I hope you didn't let him in.<br /></span><span tts:color="lime">No, I didn't let him in.</span></p>
118 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:47.24" id="p97" end="00:06:49.84">Did it never occur to you to<br />set the dog on him?</p>
119 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:51.24" id="p98" end="00:06:55.28"><span tts:color="lime">I don't have a dog. </span>For the<br />occasion, I'd have borrowed one!</p>
120 <p style="s3" begin="00:06:55.28" id="p99" end="00:06:56.76">You give them your best.</p>
121 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:56.76" id="p100" end="00:06:59.12">Ah, now that's where you went<br />wrong, right there.</p>
122 <p style="s2" begin="00:06:59.12" id="p101" end="00:07:01.48">They thrive better on less.</p>
123 <p begin="00:07:01.48" id="p102" end="00:07:05.04">Think of him as dead or living<br />somewhere similar,</p>
124 <p begin="00:07:05.04" id="p103" end="00:07:07.20">like Lancashire.</p>
125 <p style="s1" begin="00:07:08.52" id="p104" end="00:07:11.72">And don't you be encouraging her<br />to take him back.</p>
126 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:11.72" id="p105" end="00:07:15.08">He's all alone and it's Christmas.</p>
127 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:15.08" id="p106" end="00:07:19.56">Oh, I can see him now out on<br />the street in a blizzard,</p>
128 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:19.56" id="p107" end="00:07:22.44">trying to keep warm with only<br />a Mars bar.</p>
129 <p style="s1" begin="00:07:22.44" id="p108" end="00:07:24.80">Why would he have a Mars bar?</p>
130 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:24.80" id="p109" end="00:07:27.36">Because I would have<br />just given him one.</p>
131 <p begin="00:07:28.64" id="p110" end="00:07:32.68"><span tts:color="yellow">You're as daft as Auntie Eileen.<br /></span><span tts:color="cyan">She found love in the end.</span></p>
132 <p style="s1" begin="00:07:32.68" id="p111" end="00:07:35.04">And we all know which end!</p>
133 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:36.28" id="p112" end="00:07:38.16">Be firm, Elsie, don't weaken.</p>
134 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:38.16" id="p113" end="00:07:40.08">I know it's Christmas,<br />goodwill to all men,</p>
135 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:40.08" id="p114" end="00:07:43.96">but you're allowed to be nasty to<br />those closest to you.</p>
136 <p style="s3" begin="00:07:43.96" id="p115" end="00:07:50.12">I AM being firm, even though his<br />coming back must mean something.</p>
137 <p begin="00:07:50.12" id="p116" end="00:07:53.12">It probably means the other<br />woman's chucked him out!</p>
138 <p style="s3" begin="00:07:53.12" id="p117" end="00:07:56.64">Came straight home though,<br />didn't he?</p>
139 <p style="s2" begin="00:07:56.64" id="p118" end="00:07:58.88"><span tts:color="white">Oh, Elsie! </span>Oh, Elsie!</p>
140 <p style="s1" begin="00:08:00.72" id="p119" end="00:08:03.20">You're only guessing it's me.</p>
141 <p style="s1" begin="00:08:03.20" id="p120" end="00:08:05.04">I could be a real elf.</p>
142 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:05.04" id="p121" end="00:08:07.32">You're too tall.</p>
143 <p style="s1" begin="00:08:07.32" id="p122" end="00:08:09.92">I've been stretched.</p>
144 <p style="s1" begin="00:08:09.92" id="p123" end="00:08:11.44">I'm an elongated elf.</p>
145 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:11.44" id="p124" end="00:08:13.60">My favourite kind.</p>
146 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:13.60" id="p125" end="00:08:15.60">Have you got a name?</p>
147 <p style="s1" begin="00:08:15.60" id="p126" end="00:08:17.32">Ginger.</p>
148 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:17.32" id="p127" end="00:08:21.28">May I enquire where the bit<br />might be that's ginger?</p>
149 <p style="s2" begin="00:08:26.52" id="p128" end="00:08:28.32">I'm looking forward<br />to a little session</p>
150 <p style="s2" begin="00:08:28.32" id="p129" end="00:08:29.84">with the kid that works here.</p>
151 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:29.84" id="p130" end="00:08:32.52">Me too!</p>
152 <p begin="00:08:32.52" id="p131" end="00:08:34.92"><span tts:color="cyan">Was that him?<br /></span><span tts:color="lime">I'm not allowed to say,</span></p>
153 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:34.92" id="p132" end="00:08:37.12">on the grounds of "elf" and safety!</p>
154 <p begin="00:08:42.96" id="p133" end="00:08:46.04">Do you often talk to strange elves?</p>
155 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:46.04" id="p134" end="00:08:48.04">He's got a nice face.</p>
156 <p begin="00:08:48.04" id="p135" end="00:08:50.36">You ought to see it<br />first thing in the morning.</p>
157 <p style="s3" begin="00:08:50.36" id="p136" end="00:08:52.48">Ready when he is.</p>
158 <p begin="00:08:57.36" id="p137" end="00:09:01.64"># Therefore, Christian men be sure</p>
159 <p begin="00:09:01.64" id="p138" end="00:09:05.36"># Wealth or rank possessing</p>
160 <p begin="00:09:05.36" id="p139" end="00:09:09.28"># Ye who now will bless the poor</p>
161 <p begin="00:09:09.28" id="p140" end="00:09:13.72"># Shall yourselves find blessing. #</p>
162 <p begin="00:09:16.00" id="p141" end="00:09:17.64">SHE SIGHS</p>
163 <p begin="00:09:17.64" id="p142" end="00:09:20.36">OK, well, a smidgeon better<br />than yesterday,</p>
164 <p begin="00:09:20.36" id="p143" end="00:09:23.72">but remember, we've got that choir<br />in Finkle Street to beat,</p>
165 <p begin="00:09:23.72" id="p144" end="00:09:26.64">otherwise they'll be<br />bragging all year!</p>
166 <p begin="00:09:26.64" id="p145" end="00:09:29.88">Go on, take ten.</p>
167 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:29.88" id="p146" end="00:09:32.04">Were you singing?<br />Cos I couldn't hear you.</p>
168 <p style="s1" begin="00:09:32.04" id="p147" end="00:09:34.52">I told you,<br />I'm not much for singing.</p>
169 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:34.52" id="p148" end="00:09:37.68">Well, you didn't tell me you needed<br />a voice transplant.</p>
170 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:38.92" id="p149" end="00:09:41.80">Get some expression into it.</p>
171 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:41.80" id="p150" end="00:09:43.80">And try to look happy.</p>
172 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:43.80" id="p151" end="00:09:47.36">They know we're an item. If you<br />don't look happy it reflects on me.</p>
173 <p style="s1" begin="00:09:47.36" id="p152" end="00:09:49.16">You expect me to be happy?</p>
174 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:49.16" id="p153" end="00:09:53.00">Until after the formal engagement<br />and then I'll settle for obedient.</p>
175 <p style="s1" begin="00:09:53.00" id="p154" end="00:09:55.20">Engaged? You and me?</p>
176 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:55.20" id="p155" end="00:09:58.92">Well, unless I get a better offer<br />you're in with a chance.</p>
177 <p style="s2" begin="00:09:58.92" id="p156" end="00:10:01.28">Lots of goodies coming your way.</p>
178 <p begin="00:10:04.60" id="p157" end="00:10:08.04">Where's this collector<br />of ladies' scalps then?</p>
179 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:08.04" id="p158" end="00:10:11.08">Oh, I couldn't dream.<br />Elsie goes ballistic.</p>
180 <p begin="00:10:11.08" id="p159" end="00:10:14.04">In that case,<br />he can't be all that magnetic.</p>
181 <p begin="00:10:14.04" id="p160" end="00:10:17.00">I don't see him any more<br />Leonardo DiCaprio than I am.</p>
182 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:18.60" id="p161" end="00:10:20.48">Listen, I were at school with him.</p>
183 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:20.48" id="p162" end="00:10:23.00">While the rest of us were<br />playing marbles,</p>
184 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:23.00" id="p163" end="00:10:25.96">he were playing with the entire<br />girls' hockey team!</p>
185 <p begin="00:10:28.88" id="p164" end="00:10:32.40">I bet Elsie and Cliff have really<br />missed each other.</p>
186 <p style="s1" begin="00:10:32.40" id="p165" end="00:10:35.44">I bet you still believe<br />in Father Christmas.</p>
187 <p begin="00:10:35.44" id="p166" end="00:10:37.64">Not always.</p>
188 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:37.64" id="p167" end="00:10:42.28">I can't afford to keep him.<br />He eats like a woodchipper.</p>
189 <p style="s1" begin="00:10:42.28" id="p168" end="00:10:46.44">Lost his wife but not his appetite.<br />How heartbroken is that?</p>
190 <p begin="00:10:46.44" id="p169" end="00:10:50.68">He's not lost her. She's trying to<br />be tough but she's wavering.</p>
191 <p begin="00:10:50.68" id="p170" end="00:10:53.68">His old magic is still working.</p>
192 <p style="s2" begin="00:10:53.68" id="p171" end="00:10:56.44">It's magic the way<br />he goes through a bacon butty.</p>
193 <p begin="00:10:59.60" id="p172" end="00:11:02.56">The entire girls' hockey team?</p>
194 <p begin="00:11:02.56" id="p173" end="00:11:04.40">They'd have shin pads,</p>
195 <p begin="00:11:04.40" id="p174" end="00:11:06.88">but what protection would that<br />be against him?</p>
196 <p style="s1" begin="00:11:06.88" id="p175" end="00:11:08.72">If I tried half that stuff<br />on with our lass,</p>
197 <p style="s1" begin="00:11:08.72" id="p176" end="00:11:11.68">I'd be the one needing shin pads!</p>
198 <p style="s2" begin="00:11:11.68" id="p177" end="00:11:14.76">If you want to have a look at him<br />I'll bring him in the shop.</p>
199 <p begin="00:11:14.76" id="p178" end="00:11:16.28">HE BURPS</p>
200 <p style="s2" begin="00:11:16.28" id="p179" end="00:11:18.32">Two o'clock this afternoon.</p>
201 <p begin="00:11:26.04" id="p180" end="00:11:28.80">Right, what have we got here?</p>
202 <p begin="00:11:28.80" id="p181" end="00:11:32.08">"Dr Proctor's<br />Fiery Chest Pastilles."</p>
203 <p style="s1" begin="00:11:32.08" id="p182" end="00:11:34.20">You can put them away.</p>
204 <p style="s1" begin="00:11:34.20" id="p183" end="00:11:36.48">They never sold. Far too hot.</p>
205 <p style="s1" begin="00:11:36.48" id="p184" end="00:11:38.88">It's like sucking a chilli.</p>
206 <p begin="00:11:38.88" id="p185" end="00:11:42.36">Well, maybe they've cooled down now<br />we've had 'em for a while.</p>
207 <p begin="00:11:43.72" id="p186" end="00:11:47.96"><span tts:color="yellow">Plus they turned your tongue green.<br /></span>Yeah, well, it wore off, didn't it?</p>
208 <p begin="00:11:47.96" id="p187" end="00:11:51.40">Anyway, we can tell them it was<br />a sign of inner purity.</p>
209 <p begin="00:11:52.80" id="p188" end="00:11:54.64">Right, come on, you try one.</p>
210 <p begin="00:11:54.64" id="p189" end="00:11:56.80"><span tts:color="yellow">YOU try one! </span>No, no, you try one.</p>
211 <p begin="00:11:56.80" id="p190" end="00:11:59.68"><span tts:color="yellow">Oh, no, you... </span>TRY ONE.</p>
212 <p begin="00:11:59.68" id="p191" end="00:12:01.68">All right, tell you what,<br />we'll both try one.</p>
213 <p begin="00:12:01.68" id="p192" end="00:12:04.68">We should always be familiar with<br />the products that we are selling,</p>
214 <p begin="00:12:04.68" id="p193" end="00:12:08.76">right, apart from a small selection<br />of ladies' underwear, OK?</p>
215 <p begin="00:12:10.88" id="p194" end="00:12:13.16">There you go.</p>
216 <p style="s1" begin="00:12:16.92" id="p195" end="00:12:20.68">You better get that in your...</p>
217 <p begin="00:12:20.68" id="p196" end="00:12:23.08">All right, all right, all right.</p>
218 <p style="s1" begin="00:12:32.24" id="p197" end="00:12:34.48"><span tts:color="white">Oh. </span>Oh.</p>
219 <p style="s1" begin="00:12:34.48" id="p198" end="00:12:37.60">Yeah, they have.<br />They've cooled down.</p>
220 <p style="s1" begin="00:12:37.60" id="p199" end="00:12:39.92">Used to bring<br />me out in clammy sweats.</p>
221 <p begin="00:12:39.92" id="p200" end="00:12:41.88">Black Widow does that to me.</p>
222 <p begin="00:12:43.44" id="p201" end="00:12:45.44">Hmm, yeah.</p>
223 <p style="s1" begin="00:12:58.48" id="p202" end="00:13:01.12">It's when you get to the middle!</p>
224 <p begin="00:13:01.12" id="p203" end="00:13:04.44">You can clear drains with these<br />things, can't you?</p>
225 <p style="s2" begin="00:13:22.48" id="p204" end="00:13:25.32">Stand there, Mr Newbold.<br />This is girl talk.</p>
226 <p begin="00:13:27.24" id="p205" end="00:13:29.40">You're looking a bit<br />female stressed.</p>
227 <p style="s1" begin="00:13:29.40" id="p206" end="00:13:33.12">I'm getting older.<br />It can't last forever.</p>
228 <p style="s3" begin="00:13:33.12" id="p207" end="00:13:35.76">Oh, there's better solutions<br />than being dead.</p>
229 <p style="s1" begin="00:13:35.76" id="p208" end="00:13:38.00">Not as reliable.</p>
230 <p style="s3" begin="00:13:38.00" id="p209" end="00:13:42.44">You need a few hours of all-male<br />company. Crack some jokes.</p>
231 <p begin="00:13:42.44" id="p210" end="00:13:45.80">A free flow of bad manners.<br />Spill a few drinks.</p>
232 <p style="s3" begin="00:13:45.80" id="p211" end="00:13:49.76"><span tts:color="white">Drop some crumbs down your front.<br /></span>Belch a bit.</p>
233 <p style="s1" begin="00:13:49.76" id="p212" end="00:13:53.40">It's true.<br />It's those little things you miss.</p>
234 <p begin="00:13:53.40" id="p213" end="00:13:56.92">First of all,<br />two o'clock at Arkwright's.</p>
235 <p begin="00:13:56.92" id="p214" end="00:13:58.88">Let's get a look at this<br />Cliff Bridges.</p>
236 <p style="s3" begin="00:13:58.88" id="p215" end="00:14:03.08">The man with power over women.<br />Pick up a few tips.</p>
237 <p begin="00:14:03.08" id="p216" end="00:14:05.88">Not that we need any help<br />in that direction.</p>
238 <p style="s3" begin="00:14:05.88" id="p217" end="00:14:07.84">I think that's understood.</p>
239 <p begin="00:14:15.44" id="p218" end="00:14:17.56">HE PANTS</p>
240 <p begin="00:14:17.56" id="p219" end="00:14:20.72">Guaranteed to clear<br />all your passages.</p>
241 <p begin="00:14:32.20" id="p220" end="00:14:34.56">You do know it's bad luck,<br />don't you,</p>
242 <p begin="00:14:34.56" id="p221" end="00:14:38.20">standing out here practising<br />not spending?</p>
243 <p style="s3" begin="00:14:38.20" id="p222" end="00:14:41.92"><span tts:color="yellow">Just browsing. </span>Just happened to be<br />coming in your direction.</p>
244 <p style="s1" begin="00:14:43.88" id="p223" end="00:14:46.80">Here, what time have you got?</p>
245 <p begin="00:14:46.80" id="p224" end="00:14:50.52">Well, does it matter? You're not<br />doing anything with it, are you?</p>
246 <p style="s2" begin="00:14:51.84" id="p225" end="00:14:55.00">Are we late? <span tts:color="white">For what?<br /></span>Well, I don't know.</p>
247 <p style="s1" begin="00:14:55.00" id="p226" end="00:14:58.76"><span tts:color="cyan">Mr Newbold said we had to get<br />a move on. </span>I didn't say a word.</p>
248 <p style="s1" begin="00:14:58.76" id="p227" end="00:15:02.84"><span tts:color="cyan">He's so forgetful. </span>I forget when I<br />last got the CHANCE to say a word!</p>
249 <p style="s2" begin="00:15:02.84" id="p228" end="00:15:05.52">Listen to him rattling on.<br />Do be quiet, Mr Newbold.</p>
250 <p style="s2" begin="00:15:05.52" id="p229" end="00:15:08.20">People are going to think<br />you're a chatterbox.</p>
251 <p begin="00:15:11.64" id="p230" end="00:15:14.52">Hey, we've got quite a crowd<br />building now, haven't we?</p>
252 <p begin="00:15:14.52" id="p231" end="00:15:18.28">You must have all heard about<br />my special offers.</p>
253 <p style="s2" begin="00:15:18.28" id="p232" end="00:15:20.92"><span tts:color="lime">Just passing. </span>I'll take some.</p>
254 <p style="s1" begin="00:15:20.92" id="p233" end="00:15:22.76">You don't even know what they are!</p>
255 <p style="s2" begin="00:15:22.76" id="p234" end="00:15:24.92">I like surprises.</p>
256 <p style="s1" begin="00:15:30.16" id="p235" end="00:15:33.28">What's all this then?<br />Have I missed something?</p>
257 <p style="s3" begin="00:15:33.28" id="p236" end="00:15:35.76">Not a lot,<br />by the look of that lipstick.</p>
258 <p style="s1" begin="00:15:35.76" id="p237" end="00:15:39.28">I turned a corner, walked straight<br />into this pair of lips.</p>
259 <p begin="00:15:39.28" id="p238" end="00:15:42.16">Which corner?</p>
260 <p begin="00:15:42.16" id="p239" end="00:15:45.16"><span tts:color="cyan">Here comes Gastric's mini.<br /></span>HORN BEEPS</p>
261 <p begin="00:15:45.16" id="p240" end="00:15:46.20">Hey up!</p>
262 <p begin="00:15:48.24" id="p241" end="00:15:49.92">What's going on?</p>
263 <p begin="00:15:53.64" id="p242" end="00:15:56.44">THEY GASP</p>
264 <p begin="00:15:56.44" id="p243" end="00:15:58.36">THEY SIGH</p>
265 <p begin="00:15:58.36" id="p244" end="00:16:00.12">Now, listen, you lot,</p>
266 <p begin="00:16:00.12" id="p245" end="00:16:04.16">if you're not going to buy anything<br />there will be a parking fee,</p>
267 <p begin="00:16:04.16" id="p246" end="00:16:07.16">refundable upon your first purchase.</p>
268 <p begin="00:16:09.32" id="p247" end="00:16:11.12">THEY GASP</p>
269 <p begin="00:16:11.12" id="p248" end="00:16:13.44">THEY SIGH</p>
270 <p style="s2" begin="00:16:13.44" id="p249" end="00:16:15.88">Hey up, it's Black Friday.</p>
271 <p style="s1" begin="00:16:16.96" id="p250" end="00:16:19.08"><span tts:color="white">Where is he? </span>God's gift to women.</p>
272 <p style="s2" begin="00:16:19.08" id="p251" end="00:16:23.36"><span tts:color="lime">Cliff Bridges. </span>He's adjusting his<br />cap in the rear-view mirror.</p>
273 <p style="s2" begin="00:16:23.36" id="p252" end="00:16:25.64">He'll be here in a minute.</p>
274 <p begin="00:16:25.64" id="p253" end="00:16:28.76">So THAT'S what this is<br />all about, is it?</p>
275 <p begin="00:16:28.76" id="p254" end="00:16:31.68">You all want to see Mr Magnificent.</p>
276 <p begin="00:16:33.16" id="p255" end="00:16:35.52">THEY GASP</p>
277 <p style="s1" begin="00:16:38.20" id="p256" end="00:16:40.36">You've got to be kidding!</p>
278 <p style="s3" begin="00:16:41.60" id="p257" end="00:16:42.96">What?</p>
279 <p begin="00:16:46.24" id="p258" end="00:16:48.56">He reminded me of someone<br />and he was dead!</p>
280 <p style="s2" begin="00:16:50.04" id="p259" end="00:16:52.20">Maybe he's got a big personality?</p>
281 <p style="s1" begin="00:16:52.20" id="p260" end="00:16:55.40">He's not big enough to have<br />a big personality.</p>
282 <p style="s1" begin="00:16:55.40" id="p261" end="00:16:58.64">If I were you I'd ask for<br />your Mars bar back.</p>
283 <p begin="00:16:58.64" id="p262" end="00:17:01.12">Who in their right mind would<br />take him back?</p>
284 <p begin="00:17:01.12" id="p263" end="00:17:03.48">He's hardly fit for recycling.</p>
285 <p begin="00:17:03.48" id="p264" end="00:17:06.52"><span tts:color="cyan">Makes your man look good.<br /></span>I wouldn't go as far as good.</p>
286 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:08.00" id="p265" end="00:17:10.20">There's been some wear<br />and tear in there.</p>
287 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:10.20" id="p266" end="00:17:11.80">No wonder he's ready for home.</p>
288 <p style="s2" begin="00:17:11.80" id="p267" end="00:17:13.92">Home? I wouldn't have him delivered!</p>
289 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:15.60" id="p268" end="00:17:20.64"><span tts:color="white">So you've left Elsie three times?<br /></span>Anybody can make a mistake.</p>
290 <p begin="00:17:20.64" id="p269" end="00:17:22.08">What, three times?!</p>
291 <p begin="00:17:22.08" id="p270" end="00:17:26.96"><span tts:color="lime">Same mistake. </span>Mmm. You don't look<br />like a lady-killer, Clifford.</p>
292 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:26.96" id="p271" end="00:17:31.72"><span tts:color="white">You look more like his grandad.<br /></span>I've retired.</p>
293 <p begin="00:17:31.72" id="p272" end="00:17:36.00">All right, from the horse's mouth,<br />what's the secret?</p>
294 <p begin="00:17:36.00" id="p273" end="00:17:38.96"><span tts:color="lime">He keeps asking me that.<br /></span><span tts:color="cyan">On behalf of a friend.</span></p>
295 <p begin="00:17:40.88" id="p274" end="00:17:43.72">All right, so he keeps asking.<br />What do you tell him?</p>
296 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:43.72" id="p275" end="00:17:47.80">I tell him I don't know.<br />Anyway, that's all in the past.</p>
297 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:47.80" id="p276" end="00:17:51.80">Dr Proctor's Fiery Chest Pastilles?</p>
298 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:51.80" id="p277" end="00:17:54.00">Haven't seen these in a while.</p>
299 <p style="s3" begin="00:17:54.00" id="p278" end="00:17:56.24">I used to swear by these.</p>
300 <p begin="00:18:09.04" id="p279" end="00:18:10.92">Oh, hello, Mavis.</p>
301 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:10.92" id="p280" end="00:18:12.52">Hello, Granville.</p>
302 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:12.52" id="p281" end="00:18:15.92"><span tts:color="white">What are we doing for Christmas?<br /></span>We did that last year.</p>
303 <p begin="00:18:17.88" id="p282" end="00:18:20.52">Wasn't it a lovely Christmas?</p>
304 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:20.52" id="p283" end="00:18:24.76">I shan't enjoy this Christmas if<br />poor Mr Bridges can't get home.</p>
305 <p begin="00:18:24.76" id="p284" end="00:18:28.28">You're such a<br />kind-hearted woman, Mavis,</p>
306 <p begin="00:18:28.28" id="p285" end="00:18:31.84">but Elsie is surrounded<br />by the female Mafia.</p>
307 <p begin="00:18:31.84" id="p286" end="00:18:34.72">They're all telling her<br />to send him packing.</p>
308 <p begin="00:18:34.72" id="p287" end="00:18:39.08">I don't think there's anybody going<br />to be able to get him back.</p>
309 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:39.08" id="p288" end="00:18:41.40">I bet you could.</p>
310 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:41.40" id="p289" end="00:18:43.80">If anyone can...</p>
311 <p begin="00:18:43.80" id="p290" end="00:18:45.88">Oh.</p>
312 <p style="s3" begin="00:18:47.88" id="p291" end="00:18:51.76"><span tts:color="white">FROM INSIDE BOX: </span>Ow! Ah! Ooh!</p>
313 <p style="s2" begin="00:18:51.76" id="p292" end="00:18:53.88">She'll only throw him out again.</p>
314 <p style="s1" begin="00:18:53.88" id="p293" end="00:18:55.56">Even now he's gift-wrapped.</p>
315 <p begin="00:18:55.56" id="p294" end="00:18:59.88">Once he's inside the house, he'll be<br />able to work his magic, won't he?</p>
316 <p style="s1" begin="00:18:59.88" id="p295" end="00:19:03.08">He's not sounding all that<br />magical at the moment.</p>
317 <p begin="00:19:03.08" id="p296" end="00:19:04.40">Stop moaning, will you?</p>
318 <p style="s3" begin="00:19:04.40" id="p297" end="00:19:08.92"><span tts:color="white">We're trying to get you back to<br />where you want to be. </span>Ow! Ah!</p>
319 <p begin="00:19:08.92" id="p298" end="00:19:10.44">Oh, it's no good.</p>
320 <p begin="00:19:10.44" id="p299" end="00:19:13.88">Open the lid, will you,<br />let's see what he's grizzling about?</p>
321 <p style="s3" begin="00:19:15.32" id="p300" end="00:19:16.76">Ah!</p>
322 <p begin="00:19:18.84" id="p301" end="00:19:20.36">Oh, 'eck!</p>
323 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:24.60" id="p302" end="00:19:26.44">When she opens the box, Mr Bridges,</p>
324 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:26.44" id="p303" end="00:19:29.92">my advice is to grab her while<br />she's too surprised to speak.</p>
325 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:29.92" id="p304" end="00:19:32.32">Give her your best shot.</p>
326 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:37.20" id="p305" end="00:19:38.92">Parcel for Bridges.</p>
327 <p style="s2" begin="00:19:51.72" id="p306" end="00:19:53.92">She should have opened it by now.</p>
328 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:53.92" id="p307" end="00:19:56.76">He should be out of the box.</p>
329 <p style="s1" begin="00:19:56.76" id="p308" end="00:20:00.16">Unless he's dragged her in.<br />She's not complaining.</p>
330 <p style="s2" begin="00:20:00.16" id="p309" end="00:20:03.64">He's done it again,<br />that old hockey magic!</p>
331 <p style="s1" begin="00:20:03.64" id="p310" end="00:20:06.56">I think you're right,<br />I think he's cracked it!</p>
332 <p style="s2" begin="00:20:06.56" id="p311" end="00:20:08.40">He's still got it, eh?</p>
333 <p style="s1" begin="00:20:08.40" id="p312" end="00:20:10.12">I wonder if he keeps his cap on.</p>
334 <p style="s3" begin="00:20:14.96" id="p313" end="00:20:16.68">She dumped me and kept the box.</p>
335 <p style="s3" begin="00:20:19.88" id="p314" end="00:20:23.12">She's got them women with her.<br />They threw me out the back.</p>
336 <p begin="00:20:25.80" id="p315" end="00:20:26.96">You blew it!</p>
337 <p begin="00:20:26.96" id="p316" end="00:20:29.24">Where was all this magic?</p>
338 <p style="s3" begin="00:20:29.24" id="p317" end="00:20:33.00">I just want to go home.<br />I'm all out of magic.</p>
339 <p style="s2" begin="00:20:33.00" id="p318" end="00:20:34.76">And I'm all out of bacon.</p>
340 <p begin="00:20:36.52" id="p319" end="00:20:38.92">Can I ask you please<br />not to repeat that?</p>
341 <p begin="00:20:38.92" id="p320" end="00:20:41.00">I've been telling everybody<br />it's down to</p>
342 <p begin="00:20:41.00" id="p321" end="00:20:43.96">Dr Proctor's Fiery Chest Pastilles.</p>
343 <p begin="00:20:45.48" id="p322" end="00:20:46.52">We need a plan B.</p>
344 <p begin="00:21:07.72" id="p323" end="00:21:11.28">This forgotten secret<br />from the Victorian era</p>
345 <p begin="00:21:11.28" id="p324" end="00:21:13.60">has to be handled with care.</p>
346 <p begin="00:21:13.60" id="p325" end="00:21:16.92">I mean, are you ready for<br />this much power over women?</p>
347 <p begin="00:21:19.00" id="p326" end="00:21:21.28">You're going to have<br />to pace yourselves.</p>
348 <p style="s2" begin="00:21:21.28" id="p327" end="00:21:22.32">We're ready.</p>
349 <p style="s2" begin="00:21:24.48" id="p328" end="00:21:27.96">I think I can safely speak<br />also for my colleague here.</p>
350 <p style="s3" begin="00:21:27.96" id="p329" end="00:21:32.44">Providing it's the genuine stuff<br />Cliff Bridges has been using.</p>
351 <p style="s2" begin="00:21:32.44" id="p330" end="00:21:34.08">To such effect.</p>
352 <p style="s3" begin="00:21:34.08" id="p331" end="00:21:39.16">And providing it will prove to<br />have a similar effect upon us.</p>
353 <p style="s2" begin="00:21:40.16" id="p332" end="00:21:42.44">Within reason.</p>
354 <p style="s2" begin="00:21:42.44" id="p333" end="00:21:45.24">Nobody's talking an entire<br />ladies' hockey team.</p>
355 <p begin="00:21:48.88" id="p334" end="00:21:52.32">Tom Jones has a pack of<br />these at his bedside.</p>
356 <p begin="00:21:54.04" id="p335" end="00:21:57.36">He always sucks two<br />when he sings Delilah.</p>
357 <p begin="00:22:00.68" id="p336" end="00:22:03.64">And if you listen carefully,<br />you can hear the whisper</p>
358 <p begin="00:22:03.64" id="p337" end="00:22:06.48">of ladies' underwear<br />as it sails past.</p>
359 <p begin="00:22:08.68" id="p338" end="00:22:11.92">Today, Tom Jones.<br />Tomorrow, Eric and Cyril.</p>
360 <p style="s3" begin="00:22:15.04" id="p339" end="00:22:18.20">So how come these are<br />not more widely known?</p>
361 <p begin="00:22:18.20" id="p340" end="00:22:20.12">Oh, because they were banned,<br />you see,</p>
362 <p begin="00:22:20.12" id="p341" end="00:22:23.40">once they found out that they<br />started the First World War.</p>
363 <p style="s2" begin="00:22:24.68" id="p342" end="00:22:28.00">I thought it was because some<br />archduke got himself shot...</p>
364 <p style="s2" begin="00:22:28.00" id="p343" end="00:22:29.04">in the Balkans.</p>
365 <p begin="00:22:31.72" id="p344" end="00:22:34.20">Yes, and very painful it was, too.</p>
366 <p begin="00:22:35.60" id="p345" end="00:22:39.12">But you've got to ask yourself,<br />why was he shot?</p>
367 <p begin="00:22:39.12" id="p346" end="00:22:43.52">He was shot because he was doing<br />a bit of archduking on the side,</p>
368 <p begin="00:22:43.52" id="p347" end="00:22:45.96">you know, he was running<br />amok with his Dr Proctor's.</p>
369 <p style="s3" begin="00:22:47.96" id="p348" end="00:22:51.64">So, if they're banned,<br />where did you get these?</p>
370 <p begin="00:22:51.64" id="p349" end="00:22:55.72">They were from a secret hoard that<br />was buried in the grounds of</p>
371 <p begin="00:22:55.72" id="p350" end="00:22:59.64">the lodge of the Royal Antediluvian<br />Order of Buffaloes.</p>
372 <p begin="00:23:00.68" id="p351" end="00:23:01.84">Near Macclesfield.</p>
373 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:08.32" id="p352" end="00:23:11.16">The men still need to<br />give it some...oomph.</p>
374 <p style="s3" begin="00:23:11.16" id="p353" end="00:23:14.64">It's not something I'd<br />encourage in Mr Newbold.</p>
375 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:14.64" id="p354" end="00:23:16.64">You've got to let them<br />loose sometime.</p>
376 <p style="s3" begin="00:23:16.64" id="p355" end="00:23:20.28">But you have to be careful, in case<br />they turn out to be ravening wolves.</p>
377 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:20.28" id="p356" end="00:23:22.56">I think you're safe enough<br />with Mr Newbold.</p>
378 <p style="s2" begin="00:23:26.52" id="p357" end="00:23:31.44">Hey, let's get this thing over<br />with and then, er...</p>
379 <p style="s2" begin="00:23:31.44" id="p358" end="00:23:33.64">we can go and make<br />some magic together.</p>
380 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:33.64" id="p359" end="00:23:35.24">You've got to pick my mother up.</p>
381 <p style="s2" begin="00:23:37.36" id="p360" end="00:23:40.72">You'll regret this when<br />I'm irresistible to women.</p>
382 <p style="s2" begin="00:23:40.72" id="p361" end="00:23:42.16">There'll be a queue.</p>
383 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:42.16" id="p362" end="00:23:44.04">Maybe if you were at a bus stop.</p>
384 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:45.12" id="p363" end="00:23:48.72">Right, places, everybody.</p>
385 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:48.72" id="p364" end="00:23:50.56">Clear your throats.</p>
386 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:50.56" id="p365" end="00:23:54.92">Get all your coughs and sneezes over<br />with. This is our last rehearsal.</p>
387 <p style="s1" begin="00:23:54.92" id="p366" end="00:23:59.24">Let's make it a good 'un.<br />Come on, open your books.</p>
388 <p style="s3" begin="00:23:59.24" id="p367" end="00:24:03.88"><span tts:color="cyan">We ought to go see Uncle Gerald.<br /></span>Again? Oh, he doesn't recognise us.</p>
389 <p style="s2" begin="00:24:03.88" id="p368" end="00:24:06.60">Well, he knows when it's mealtimes.</p>
390 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:06.60" id="p369" end="00:24:08.00">He thought I was German.</p>
391 <p style="s2" begin="00:24:09.48" id="p370" end="00:24:11.76">Well, you CAN be a bit<br />that way inclined.</p>
392 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:13.44" id="p371" end="00:24:16.88">Stay there, Mr Newbold.<br />I'll soon be back at your side.</p>
393 <p style="s1" begin="00:24:18.52" id="p372" end="00:24:20.92">I'm beginning to feel<br />she's at both sides.</p>
394 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:22.36" id="p373" end="00:24:24.96">Granville, you're<br />a man of experience.</p>
395 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:24.96" id="p374" end="00:24:27.52">I'd like you to come upstairs<br />to my bedroom</p>
396 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:27.52" id="p375" end="00:24:30.20">and take a look at a damp patch.</p>
397 <p begin="00:24:36.52" id="p376" end="00:24:40.20">I think you'll need a builder<br />for that, Mrs Featherstone.</p>
398 <p style="s3" begin="00:24:40.20" id="p377" end="00:24:44.16">Come and look at my damp patch,<br />Granville. We can build on that.</p>
399 <p style="s1" begin="00:24:48.68" id="p378" end="00:24:53.80">Come along, people.<br />Let's get this show on the road.</p>
400 <p begin="00:24:53.80" id="p379" end="00:24:55.28">SHE SIGHS</p>
401 <p style="s2" begin="00:24:55.28" id="p380" end="00:24:58.48">Hey, so where's this lad of yours?</p>
402 <p begin="00:24:58.48" id="p381" end="00:25:03.52">Ooh! Well, the last time I saw him,<br />he was, er, dressed as an elf.</p>
403 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:06.00" id="p382" end="00:25:07.32">Ooh!</p>
404 <p style="s2" begin="00:25:07.32" id="p383" end="00:25:09.12">Right, take those glasses off!</p>
405 <p style="s2" begin="00:25:11.00" id="p384" end="00:25:13.40">You can wrap this up for<br />Christmas, and all.</p>
406 <p style="s3" begin="00:25:14.64" id="p385" end="00:25:17.56">Take your hands off my husband.</p>
407 <p style="s3" begin="00:25:17.56" id="p386" end="00:25:19.64">Look at me, Norm.</p>
408 <p style="s3" begin="00:25:19.64" id="p387" end="00:25:21.84">You're not fit to be loose.</p>
409 <p style="s3" begin="00:25:21.84" id="p388" end="00:25:24.00">And stop grinning!</p>
410 <p style="s3" begin="00:25:24.00" id="p389" end="00:25:26.64">You've got some grovelling to do!</p>
411 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:34.08" id="p390" end="00:25:37.40">You look like you might<br />be a baritone.</p>
412 <p style="s2" begin="00:25:37.40" id="p391" end="00:25:39.96">Well, I'm no soprano.</p>
413 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:39.96" id="p392" end="00:25:44.00">Hmm. Good. Give it some volume.</p>
414 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:44.00" id="p393" end="00:25:45.64">Hey, what have you got there?</p>
415 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:49.88" id="p394" end="00:25:53.32"><span tts:color="cyan">It clears all your passages. </span>Oh!</p>
416 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:53.32" id="p395" end="00:25:57.08">Do you want a throat pastille,<br />everyone? It clears your passages.</p>
417 <p style="s1" begin="00:25:58.76" id="p396" end="00:26:02.76">We need all the help we can get if<br />we're going to beat Finkle Street.</p>
418 <p style="s1" begin="00:26:06.32" id="p397" end="00:26:10.04"># Good King Wenceslas looked out</p>
419 <p style="s1" begin="00:26:10.04" id="p398" end="00:26:13.64"># On the feast of Stephen</p>
420 <p style="s1" begin="00:26:13.64" id="p399" end="00:26:17.24"># When the snow lay round about... #</p>
421 <p begin="00:26:17.24" id="p400" end="00:26:20.92">THEY COUGH</p>
422 <p begin="00:26:20.92" id="p401" end="00:26:24.92">SINGING AND COUGHING</p>
423 <p begin="00:26:31.28" id="p402" end="00:26:36.20">COUGHING AND WAILING</p>
424 <p begin="00:26:49.12" id="p403" end="00:26:50.88">'I think that's the first time</p>
425 <p begin="00:26:50.88" id="p404" end="00:26:54.16">'I've heard people COUGHING<br />Good King Wenceslas.</p>
426 <p begin="00:27:01.64" id="p405" end="00:27:05.92">'Lucky I sent some of those<br />pastilles round to Finkle Street.</p>
427 <p begin="00:27:05.92" id="p406" end="00:27:09.12">'After all, it IS<br />the season of goodwill.'</p>
428 <p begin="00:27:12.40" id="p407" end="00:27:15.24">HE GRUNTS</p>
429 <p style="s1" begin="00:27:18.36" id="p408" end="00:27:21.84">I knew you could get Cliff<br />back home if anyone could.</p>
430 <p begin="00:27:21.84" id="p409" end="00:27:23.72">I thought you were singing.</p>
431 <p style="s1" begin="00:27:23.72" id="p410" end="00:27:25.68">I got hiccups in Denbigh Street.</p>
432 <p begin="00:27:25.68" id="p411" end="00:27:29.28">A-ha! You need a shock.</p>
433 <p style="s1" begin="00:27:29.28" id="p412" end="00:27:31.92">Will it be a shock if<br />you're expecting one?</p>
434 <p begin="00:27:31.92" id="p413" end="00:27:34.44">Trust me, I'm tricky. Come here.</p>
435 <p begin="00:27:34.44" id="p414" end="00:27:36.32">THEY CHUCKLE, SINGING IN DISTANCE</p>
436 <p begin="00:27:36.32" id="p415" end="00:27:39.56">Oh, listen! Right.</p>
437 <p begin="00:27:39.56" id="p416" end="00:27:43.12">Hang about. Right.</p>
438 <p style="s2" begin="00:27:43.12" id="p417" end="00:27:49.24"># Sleep in heavenly peace</p>
439 <p style="s2" begin="00:27:49.24" id="p418" end="00:27:54.84"># Sleep in heavenly peace. #</p>
440 </div>
441 </body>
442</tt>